The Drums Of The City Rain
by Dream's steam
Summary: (Adopted by Dan and Phil) Kaila and her little brother Alex are inseparable. And they are orphans. And no one wants to adopt them both. No one, until two giant nerds come around. Hold on tight, if you start reading, you're in for a hell of an emotional ride. (Warning : self harm)
1. Author's note

Hi, this is a Dan and Phil adopted by story, I know, very cliché.

Hi everyone. Before you start reading, here is a few informations about this story. They are important to me, but you could just skip all this and start reading, go ahead, I'm not mad :)

So, I have a little brother. And I love him A LOT he is the center of my world, no, he is more, he is my whole world. And I need to take my love for him out somehow because if I don't I might explode. And I love writing, so please enjoy x)

I have a rough life, so you can guess that my brother has it rough too. We almost died at the hands of our mother, that's how rough our life is. But please I don't want your pity, please. I'm fine. My brother is as fine as he can be, I make sure of it everyday, at least twice. I am telling you this because that means this book is going to talk about some deep dark stuff, like self harm, mentall illness, especially bipolarity, since our mom is bipolar. This takes a lot out of me to write this, but I believe this will help me.

I will make sure this story has the less typos and grammar mistakes possible, and you can help me do that, by commenting where you find mistakes, I will correct them immediatly, believe me.

Kaila is inspired by me, but IS NOT ME.

Alex is inspired by my brother, but IS NOT MY BROTHER.

The Dan and Phil from this book are obviously only inspired by the true Dan and Phil. This is obvious, come on guys, I can't know them enough to pretend to make all their reaction realistic, but I promise I will try to do it the best I can.

I will most likely not include Phan, but you Phan shippers can read it as a Phan story, I mean they're adopting kids together, sooo... But yeah, I'm not good at romance, so uh, .. yeah. *awkwardly steps away from this subject*

Also, the age gap between Kaila and Alex is not the same as the one existing between me and my brother in real life, because I don't know (amazing reason author, amazing. Hear the sarcasm.)

Please enjoy this story, please please please enjoy it, I am pouring my heart into those words, I'd hate myself if no one liked it.


	2. Orphans

"Kaila, Kaila. Wake up." The voice of my 8 years old little brother woke me up.

"Alex.. Five more minutes."

"No Kaila, we gotta get up now, it's Adoption Day, I let you sleep as much as I could but now Miss Williams is going to start yelling if we don't get down, please please please wake up Kaila." It was not at the threat of hearing some yelling, but at the fear in the voice of my baby brother that I woke up suddently.

"Hey Alex, it's alright, I'm up. I'll just go put some clothes and we'll go downstairs."

The blonde blue eyed boy that was sitting on my bed nodded, his eyes deep into mine. Sometimes I felt like we were sharing one soul, or maybe it was a heart. Yes, we shared a heart.

I grabbed some clothes from a drawer. There were not great, some of them didn't even fit me anymore, but that's what you get when you live in an orphanage.

I then went to one of the two common bathrooms of the orphanage to take a shower and get dressed.

As I took my pajamas off, I checked on the several fresh cuts that were on my left arm. They were fine, none of them was infected. I was glad I never had to deal with any infection from them, I would really hate to have anyone finding out this secret. I had many, but this one would really put me into trouble.

I had started to cut when my father left us. No one knew where he was, or if he was even alive. But me and my brother thought that he has probably left UK to go start over in France, or maybe in America. The day our father ran away from his life, our lives, was 4 years ago, when I was 10, and my brother was 4.

He didn't run away for no reason though. He ran away because my mom was diagnosed with bipolarity. He tried to handle it for a few months, but it was just too much, and my mom cheated on him.

I think, maybe, if that happened to me and I hadn't any child with the person, I might have wanted to leave too. So I'm not really angry at him. I just wish he said goodbye instead of waiting for us to go to sleep before leaving during the night.

But why are we at the orphannage, if our mom is still here ?

Well, she isn't.

She never took her meds, she said they made her even more sick. I tried to make her take them, but I couldn't take care of Alex and watch her all the time and go to school at the same time, so I made the mistake of believing that she would be alright anyway.

I became an adult very quickly after my father left. I learned how to cook, how to care for a four years old, how to handle a bipolar person, even though it didn't mean I could handle my mom all the time.

Sometimes she would go crazy and violent, and I would have to lock myself and Alex in our shared room until she fainted or gave up.

During those times she would yell insults at us and threaten to murder us, and Alex would start having panic attacks. But I knew the system was a bad place, I saw documentaries of children being abused in foster homes, and orphanages were prisons for children.

So I told my brother to hold on, I told him we would be fine, because I knew we would, or at least he would, if I had to sacrifice myself in the process, I didn't mind.

So I did just that.

Until, one morning, two years later, I woke up to the scream of my little brother. It was so full of horror, I would never forget how that scream sounded.

"ALEX !" I had yelled at the top of my lungs, running towards the origin of the sound.

The 6 years old boy was standing in front of the bathroom, looking inside, a look of pure dread on his face.

"Alex ?" I had asked quietly, my heart skipping a beat at the idea that maybe my mom was in that bathroom, covered in her own blood.

The boy didn't respond.

I walked to him and pulled him into a hug, hiding his face into my shirt before even looking inside the bathroom. I was so scared, and the smell of alcohol was suddently overwhelming.

My brother didn't react.

I finally looked into the bathroom, and saw something that I instantly knew would haunt my nights for the rest of my life.

My mom was leaning against the bathtub, a bottle of vodka in her left hand, and an empty bottle of pills in the other. There were many other empty bottles of meds on the ground, and many pills too.

I wanted to scream, but no sound came out. I just held onto my brother tighter, before letting him go to go touch my mom's cheek. It was as cold as death. I went back to Alex and hugged him again.

"We're all alone, now." I told him, and I sounded dead.

And maybe, just maybe, that was the day I truly stopped living and became an empty shell.

After that I decided that between being homeless and living in an orphanage, the prison for children was better. At least here we would get food and education.

So, with all the courage a twelve years old can have, I told my brother to pack his stuff, which he did without a word as I packed mine. It wasn't as if we had a lot, we were poor and my mom had lost her job a year ago.

I then took his hand and he followed me outside silently. We walked to the nearest police station and I told the officer about what had just happened.

We were then taken to an orphanage in London, and I screamed and cried until they let me and Alex share a room. I was quite proud of myself for that, because I knew orphanages were places where you can't expect to have anything more than what they're forced to give you.

Alex didn't talk for a year and a half after that. No one really cared about it, except the other kids who bullied him a lot for this, but they never did it when I was around, because I was never afraid to throw in a punch or two to protect my baby bro.

The day he started to talk again was the first time he saw me cry. I always hid away from him when I cried, but that night I thought he was asleep, and he wasn't.

He had gotten up and hugged me tightly, and I was very confused and about to tell him that I was alright, when he whispered to me : "I love you Kaila, please, don't cry. I love you."

And I started crying harder, but it wasn't tears of emotional pain anymore.

No one ever wanted to adopt us though, because we would fight with all we could so people adopted us both, and not only one of us. We would promise to break our new parents' life if they didn't take us both, promise to give them hell, to be the worst child they ever met. That would usually be enough to scare them away, and that's how we succeeded both at staying together for two years, and at not being adopted.

And we really wanted to be adopted. We just didn't know how. People never wanted teenagers, or they were scared away by Alex's anger issues.

Also, people usually didn't want children that were only interested by nerdy stuff, like video games, bands such as MCR, FOB, TOP, Panic!, or youtubers like Dan and Phil.

Dan and Phil were the reason why Alex and me kept smiling from time to time. We would watch their videos on one of the computers in the common room once a week, and it was the best time of the week.

Back to the present, I was now fully dressed and I had fixed my hair. I didnt put make up on because I don't like having something on my face.

"Kaila, you're ready ? Miss Williams started yelling." Called Alex from the other side of the door.

I opened it and we shared a small smile.

"Ready to be adopted, baby bro ?"

"We won't be Kay." replied my brother sadly as we made our way downstairs.

"Come on, you have to keep hoping, it might be our lucky day !" I faked my excitement, I knew very well no one would want us, but I needed Alex to keep hope. I needed him to do this for both of us.

Adoption day worked this way : all the orphans had to get down into a special room and play or do whatever, and potential parents would get in and go talk to the children that interested them. A few days later, or sometimes even the next day, some potential parents came and signed papers and everything because they wanted to adopt one of the kids. Obviously, the child had to agree to all this. Then, maybe two or three weeks later, after social services checked the ability of the potential parents to actually be parents, the new parents came at the orphanage to get their new kid, and that was it.

Alex and me got into the room, and we were late, all the orphans were already there.

Miss Williams walked toward us, and she looked very angry. Alex hid behind me immediately.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING ! YOU'RE LATE ! NO FOOD FOR YOU TODAY !"

I opened my mouth to protest, but thought better of it and closed it. If I talked back to her, I'd be slapped.

"Yes Miss." I said before pulling Alex with me to the corner of the room the furthest away from the door the potential parents would use.

We sat there, our backs against the wall, watching the door.

"What if Dan and Phil wanted to adopt ?" Wondered Alex quietly, yet hopefully.

"Don't be stupid Lex. That won't happen and you know it. They don't want to bother with children when they travel all around the world so often."

"Yeah, you're right" Replied my brother sadly.

I felt guilty to kill his dreams, but I didn't want him to be sad that his new parents weren't Dan and Phil. I wanted him to be happy with whoever would agree to adopt us both. I knew I would. Well, unless they turned abusive, I knew that shit happened too.

The potential parents started getting in, and none of them looked at us twice. Then, I heard a familiar laugh, and two giants walked into the room.

"Is that.." Asked Alex, eyes wide.

I looked at my brother, then back at the two giants, then back at my brother.

"Pinch me."

Alex pinched me. It hurt. It was real !

"It's real Alex, they're really here !" I whisper-squealed at him.

But Alex wasn't listening, he was looking at something behind my back, eyes open even wider.

"Alex ?" I called, kinda worried at his behavior.

"Hm, Hi, my name is Phil." Came a very familiar voice from behind me.

I jumped and turned around, surprised.

And here was Phil Lester, kneeling in front of us and smiling, his bright blue eyes scanning us.

"H-Hi, my name is Kaila, I am 14, and this is my brother Alex, he's 8. You can't adopt just one of us." I said the last sentence quite protectively, grabbing my brother's hand and looking right into Phil's bright blue eyes.

Phil frowned.

"I would never even think of separating you ! Why would I do that ?"

"Sorry about my sister" Said Alex quietly, still watching Phil with wide eyes. "Are you real ?" He asked in a little voice.

"What ? Of course he's real !" Exclaimed Dan, sitting next to Alex, an amused smile on his face.

"This big guy is Dan" Said Phil, and Alex laughed.

"Why are you laughing, is my name funny ?" Laughed Dan.

"No, he's laughing because we know you" I said, a wave of shyness suddently overwhelming me.

Oh my god. I was talking to Dan and Phil. I was actually talking to them, and maybe they would adopt us.

Maybe.

Probably not.

I really hoped they would.

"Hey, something's wrong, Kaila ?" Asked Dan, frowning.

"No, no everything's fine, I'm fine. Just lost in my thoughts for a second." I smiled, blushing a deep shade of red.

"Hey, no need to feel shy around us, we're just humans like you" Said Phil gently, sitting cross legged in front of me and Alex.

"So, what do you two like ?"

Alex replied shyly, almost sounding like he was asking a question.

"Hm, we both like the same things, for most of it. So, we like a lot of bands like Fall Out Boy and Twenty One Pilots and My Chemical Romance and a lot of others, we like to play video games even though we can't at the orphanage, and we like to was your videos."

By the end of it I was very surprised, Alex usually only talked to me, talking to other people only when he truly had to, but he seemed very open to Dan and Phil. Probably because it felt like we already knew them.

"Waow, you two seem to be very cool !" Smiled Dan widely.

"Yeah, amazing children !" Said Phil, his eyes almost sparkling.

Alex looked at me, and I looked at him, and we were both thinking the same thing. We nodded at each other and turned back to Dan and Phil, hopeful.

"So you both like us ?" We asked at the same time.

They both smiled.

"Yeah, we do."

"Time to stop ! Say goodbye children !" Yelled Miss Williams.

"See you in a few days, kids" Smiled Phil as Dan winked.

Alex and I looked at each other, overjoyed. We both jumped into each other's arms and started crying. We were going to get adopted by our favorite people in the world.

 **oooo**

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	3. Can't go back

That night, Alex and I weren't able to sleep. Around midnight I told him that I knew he wasn't sleeping, and that he could come into my bed.

As soon as I said that I felt his little form slip into my bed, I put an arm behind his back and buried one of my hand in his blonde hair. He sighed and relaxed a little.

"I'm scared Kay."

"Why ?"

"What if they don't come back ?"

"They will, don't worry, okay Lex ?"

"But what if they don't like us in the end ?"

"They will like us."

We kept talking, and I tried to soothe all of his anxiety away even though mine was worse, but nothing helped, and he finally fell asleep while the sun was rising.

I didn't though. I was so afraid Dan and Phil would find out how fucked up we are, especially how much of a mess I am, Alex was still alright. What if they found out about me cutting ? What if I got bullied at my new school and they thought I just got into fights ? What if they started thinking I was not worth it ?

At 6am, two hours later, Alex woke up. What an early bird, I will never understand him.

"You didn't sleep ?" He mumbled.

"Of course I did, you woke me up a few minutes ago when you moved." I lied. He didn't notice, since he was so very tired and I am so good at lying.

I think it's actually the only thing I am good at.

The next few days passed very very slowly. All we really did was wait for Dan and Phil to come back, if they would ever come back. We couldn't know. And the computer in the common room was broken, we couldn't go check on the internet if they made a new video or anything.

And then, on thursday, there was a knock on the door. Alex ran to it and opened it before calling me excitedly.

I got up and saw Phil standing in the doorway.

Alex ran back to me and pulled on my sleeve. He wanted to tell me a secret. I smiled and bent down to be at his level. I was short, only 5'2, but Alex was even smaller, being the 8 years old boy that he was.

"He has black hair and blue eyes, and he came on thursday to save us, do you think it's Castiel ?"

I chuckled and Phil smiled, even though he didn't hear us.

"What are you whispering behind my back, kids ?"

"We're not behind your back, Cass" Replied Alex, feigning confusion, but the sparkles in his eyes told another story.

"And we won't tell you" I continued.

"Even if we just did." Finished Alex, smirking.

Phil blinked, confused, before laughing.

"Anyway, Kaila, Alex, I came here to ask you an important question."

Alex and I nodded, holding our breath.

"Can I sit on your bed ?"

The three of us burst out laughing. I actually had tears in my eyes. Really, count on Phil Lester to bring a smile even in the darkest lives.

"No but, uh, well, you know what I meant." Stuttered the black haired giant.

We nodded again, calming down. We all sat on Alex's bed and just when Phil opened his mouth, Alex spoke.

"So do you want to adopt us ?"

Phil closed his mouth, and opened it again, and blinked at Alex, before laughing again.

"Will you let me talk little one ?" He asked between two bursts of laugher.

When he sobered up a few seconds later, he finally asked.

"Do you both want to be Dan and I's kids ?"

"YES !" Screaming Alex while I nodded, smiling shyly and blushing, because Phil was scanning my face, the slightest of frowns on his face.

"Do you really though ? Kaila ?"

"Yes, yes I want to ! Sorry, I'm just kinda.. Tired." I answered, hiding my face with my light brown hair.

"Yeah... Ok. So uh, kids, I can't take you with me right now.. You need to sign some papers and then Dan and I need to sign a few more, but tomorow, you two will finally be home ! How does that sound ?"

"SO FUCKING GREAT ! " Yelled Alex, jumping up and down.

"So fricking great" Me and Phil corrected at the same time.

Phil had to go then, but he took us to Miss William's office, and she made us sign the papers we had to sign. She then gave Phil the papers He and Dan had to sign, and Phil waved us goodbye before leaving.

That night, Alex and I had trouble falling asleep, even though we didn't even try to sleep in separate beds and immediatly went to sleep into Alex's.

"Kay ?"

"Yeah ?"

"Why wasn't Dan here today ?"

"Maybe he was just busy with something."

"Do you think only Phil likes us ?"

I didn't answer.

Maybe Dan doesn't like us.

Dread filled my bones.

"Kay ?"

"Lex ?"

"Does Dan likes us ?"

"I don't know."

I felt Alex tensing and suddently I feared he might start crying. So I did something I always did when he was feeling bad.

"So, this is the story of a baby dragon. Nobody likes him, because all he can spit is black smoke. So he spits black smole all around him all the time, because it makes him feel like he is invisible. But then his parents decided that he should go on an adventure and that maybe he would find his fire by stealing a princess. However, the princess was the daughter of the king of the dragon slayers, and she loved dragons. Living dragons, not dead dragon heads. So her parents made her go on an adventure on her own, and she couldn't go back unless she had the head of a dragon. The dragon and the princess met and..."

I looked over at Alex's face. He was asleep. I smiled gently and closed my eyes too.

The next morning we woke up, got dressed, and packed our stuff in the matter of minutes. We were so excited, we couldn't help it. We talked to each other super fast, wondering if Dan would come with Phil this time, or if they would do a video with us in it to introduce us to the phandom, or if we would have a computer to play video games, if they would let us play video games with them, if we would have separate rooms, which would be the first time of our life...

"ALEX, KAILA, GET DOWNSTAIRS, YOUR PARENTS ARE HERE"

We squealed, grabbed our stuff, and ran out of our room, not even bothering to look back. We hated it here, no need to stay here a second more than we had to.

As we ran, I remember Miss Williams' words : parents. So Dan was here too ?!

"Hi kids" Smiled Phil before Alex jumped on him.

The giant caught him and they both laughed while I searched Dan.

"Dan is waiting for us at home" Phil told me when he saw me looking around.

"Oh, okay" I replied, trying not to sound too disappointed.

Alex opened his mouth, and by the sad look on his face I knew what he was about to ask, so I glared at him, silently telling him that this question was not to be asked, EVER.

We said goodbye to Miss Williams, and phil took Alex's bag while I carried mine. Once we were in his car, Phil looked at us, frowning.

"You sit in the backseat, Kaila ?"

"Yeah, I don't, uh, want to leave Lex alone." I mumbled, suddently feeling really bad.

Two minutes in, and I was already screwing things up.

"It's alright. Ok so the ride home will take around half an hour, want some music ?"

"Fall Out Boy is alright ?" Asked Alex for us both.

"Yeah, of course it is ! I love Fall Out Boy too." Smiled Phil, and I couldn't help but smile back.

Phil pushed a few buttons after linking his phone to the car radio, and Uma Thurman came on.

Alex sang along, and Phil joined him. I listened to them, and I tried not to cry : they looked just like a father and a son singing along to their favorite band.

Then Irresistible came on. And then Dance Dance, at which point Alex and Phil stopped singing along, out of breath. Sugar we're going down followed as I looked out the window. The city looked great. I wondered where Dan and Phil lived. As my song know what you did in the dark came on, I decided that I'd know soon enough. Then I quietly listened to last of the real ones, did the same for thanks for the memories, and as save rock n roll started, Phil parked the car.

Alex made a sad noise.

"That's my favorite" He mumbled, not really wanting anyone to hear him.

However Phil turned around, looking sad, but then his face lit up. He just had an idea.. Should I be scared ? Dan always looks so scared when Phil has an idea.

"Hey, what about I lend you my phone and my earbuds so you can finish listening to the song while he get to our flat ?"

Alex looked really glad and took the phone and earbuds happily, pressing play as soon as he put the earbuds into his ears.

We got out of the car and I took Alex's bag as Phil took mine, before the giant nerd that was one of our two new fathers led us inside, and then into the elevator.

He pressed the '3' button, meaning we lived on the third floor, which was the highest one of the building.

Alex grabbed my hand, suddently anxious, and I pressed replay on Phil's phone, filling my brother's ears with his favorite song again, making him relax.

I felt Phil staring at us while the lift went up.

When the doors opened, we stepped into a corridor and looked around. Should we go left or right ?

"Come with me kids" Called Phil, who then turned right and went to the very end of the corridor before putting his key into the last door and opening it.

We didn't move though. We were... Alex squeezed my hand tighter. Kinda scared.

"Kaila ? Alex ? What's wrong ? Come on, Dan's waiting for us to get home."

I shook my head a little to get out of my anxious thoughts, and started walking towards the door, pulling my brother with me.

As soon as we walked in, Phil closed the door and told me to drop Alex's bag here for now.

I looked around slowly, scanning the room.

Where was Dan ?

"Dan ? We're home !" Called Phil.

"Busy !" Dan called back.

"Sorry about that kids, he is kind of... Antisocial."

"We know" Said Alex, looking up to Phil and holding out the phone and earbuds shyly. "Thanks for the music, Phil"

"You can call me dad, you know." Smiled Phil, and Alex blushed.

I knew Alex never really had a father. Ours was gone too soon for him to remember enough.

Having two dads, and especially two dads as amazing as Dan and Phil, was the wildest of dreams for him, and it had just came true. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for him.

I better not screw this one up.

But I knew I would, and suddently I needed to cut.

"Hey hm, do you think you could show us our room ? Please ?" I asked in a small voice. I didn't want to seem rude or annoy Phil.

"Yes, yes of course ! Come on kids, follow me !" He started walking upstairs before stopping.

"Wait, room ? As in, only one room ?"

"Yes, uh, no, but uh, we don't mind if we got separate rooms, right Alex ?" I elbowed him discretely so he didn't try to answer honestly.

"Okay, cool !" Replied Phil, completely oblivious to our struggle.

once we were upstairs we found ourselves in another corridor.

"So, to the right is the part where there is Dan's room. To the left, there is mine. We put Alex's room on my side, and Kaila's is on Dan's side. Is that okay ?

We nodded in sync.

Alex awkwardly walked to his room, and I was right behind him, curious to look at what the guys tought a boy room should look like.

And Alex had the coolest room in the universe.

The walls were blue, and the floor was white.

Band posters covered a whole wall, against another there was a black desk with a computer and school stuff on it, and on the wall where the door was there was a bed with pokemon sheets.

On the last wall there was a large window with blue curtains.

Alex looked amazed, and he went right to the bed, sitting on it, his mouth open.

"Thanks" Was all he managed to say.

"So you like it ?" Asked Phil excitedly.

Alex nodded, scanning the room with wide sparkling eyes.

"I think he went mute again" I chuckled.

"What do you mean again ?" Questionned the giant, frowning.

"Can I see my room now ?"

"Yes ! Let's go !"

Alex didn't follow us, and I smiled to myself : maybe he would learn a little to be on his own now. I would love it if he kept needing me forever, but I knew it was important that he learned to be alright on his own.

As Phil led me to my room I looked at Dan's room's door. I was so curious. I'd love to just push it and see what was so important that Dan didn't want to greet his new kids, the kids that he was about to spend years with.

That is, if I don't screw up and get me and Alex send back to the orphanage because they discover they can't deal with all the problems I have.

Phil pushed my door open and I was greeted with a room very similar to Alex's, unless the walls were a ligh and soft shade of purple, and the desk was wooden. The computer was exactly the same, and i desperatly wanted to try it right now.

"I like my room a lot" I smiled widely at Phil, hoping he knew how thankful I was.

"Hey it's just a normal room you know... No need to be so grateful" Said the man awkwardly.

"Yeah, but it's perfect !" I couldn't stop smiling. I went to the bed and sat on it.

My eyes widened and I let out an appreciative groan.

It was the most comfortable bed I ever tried.

Phil chuckled before turning to Dan's door and knocking.

"Hey, Dan, wanna come out and say hi to the kids ?"

"Still busy sorry !"

I was kinda disappointed, and I suddenlty felt like my fear of Dan not liking us was the reality.

"I wonder what he's doing in there" Mumbled Phil. He probably thought I didn't hear him, I realized.

"Hey Kaila, wanna eat some cookies ? We made them for you."

"Yes ! I'm so hungry" I got up quickly and ran to the kitchen. I hoped that putting something in my mouth would distract me from the hole that was growing inside my chest.

 _Dan doesn't like you, Kaila. How could he, you're so ugly, both inside and out._

I shivered.

Phil and Alex soon entered the room and Phil got the cookies out of the cupboard, forgetting to close it. I wondered if I should tell him, but thought better of it. It would most certainly annoy him.

The cookies looked... Almost good ? There were maybe a little over cooked, and it seemed that there was more chocolat than biscuit. I took one and bit it.

It was delicious.

Alex, on the other side of the table, was making a face.

Oh no I forgot...

"Hm... Phil..?" I called in a little voice. How was the youtuber going to take it ?

"Yes sweetheart ? The cookies aren't good ? It's okay if you don't like them, I'll eat them"

"Uh no, I like them, but uh... I'm sorry. Alex doesn't like chocolate.."

"Oh."

Alex was trying to be as small as possible, blushing and looking at his feet.

"I'm going to get you some cereals, you like cereals Alex ?" Asked Phil.

Alex nodded shyly and Phil bent down and put two fingers under my brother's chin, lifting his face up so they could make eye contact.

"You really are a weird one" Smiled Phil, and it looked like he was kind of... Prouf ?

Alex smiled back and blushed again. "Thanks" he replied before looking at the door, something catching his eye.

I turned around just quick enough to see a shadow moving back towards the stairs.

"Dan ?" Called Phil.

No one answered.

"Hey, Kaila, was about you grab a few cookies and go back to your room ? Alex I'm so sorry, but you will have to wait until dinner to eat, is that ok with you ? I need to go talk to Dan right now, I think something's wrong. See you later kids"

After that Phil went upstairs, probably to Dan's room.

I grabbed a few cookies in one hand, and Alex's hand in the other, and we went to Alex's room. I sat on the bed and he started cuddling with me. His eyes were that dark shade of blue that meant he's sad. I buried my free hand in his dark blonde hair while I was chewing on a cookie.

"Hey Kay, do you think Dan really doesn't want us here ?"

"... I uh." I paused. Then I decided that sometimes, it's better to help a child face the ugly truth, instead of hiding it from them until they find out the hard way.

"I think so yeah. But Phil seems to want us here, and that's cool isn't it ?" I knew I sounded sad. I knew it, but right now, I couldn't help it.

"Yes, yes that's cool." Alex replied, and even though his voice didn't change, tears started pouring our of his eyes and he buried his face in my shirt.

"It's going to be okay Alex, I promise. You're going to be okay." I whispered.

I then proceeded to tell him a story about a pirate fighting the king of the sea, and after a few minutes Alex was already asleep.

I slowly got up, remembering way too late that Phil told me to go to my room. I silently went to my room and got into bed. It was only 5pm, but I was so tired.

My eyes slowly closed as I thought that this was my bedroom now. The orphanage wasn't my 'home' anymore. And even though this place wasn't home yet, maybe one day it would. Anyway, I can't go back to the orphanage. Now, all I have to do in order to never see that place again, is not screw up.

But there was also another thing that I couldn't control : Dan's rejection.

3157 words. Don't ask for more, this is probably the longest chapter you will ever read from me XD

Ok so I must make something clear : there are things I don't care about, like what characters are wearing, what their home looks like (I tried really hard during this chapter, really), and all those little details I keep finding in the adopted by cliché fanfics (yes, your author is well aware that this is a dumb cliché fanfiction that has been written way too many times, and she is still writing it, what are you gonna do ?)

So uh, next chapter, you will have a little of phil's pov ! yaaaay ! But you will soon get back to Kaila (sorry)

Maybe the mystery around Dan will be uncovered ? Maybe even... solved ?

I don't even know when I will solve it yet, so sorry not sorry for the angst, I'm having a lot of fun over here. *drinks tea made with readers' tears*

See ya at the next chapter !

And please, stay alive |-/


	4. Afraid

**Hi everyone ! I am so sorry about the last's chapter weird... uh... all the strange numbers and thingies okay ? I dont know what happened and I hope I succeeded at fixing it, if I didn't, please let me know in the comments :D**

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 **Phil's pov**

I went upstairs, not even bothering to make sure the children wouldn't do something stupid, I don't think they're that kind of children. Instead, I went straight to Dan's room and went in without knocking.

And here he was. My best friend was lying on his bed, his face pressed into one of the pillows.

"Dan, what are you even doing ?!" I whisper-yelled.

We had agreed that even though he didn't want to go pick up the kids with me for whatever reason, he would be waiting for us in the living room. And when we arrived, he wasn't there, and even when I called him he didn't want to come downstairs and at least say hi to his children !

So yeah, I was kind of pissed. Very pissed.

Thank god I didn't let anything show when Kaila and Alex were around me, this was definitely not a way to be welcomed in your new home.

"Leave me alone" Groaned Dan.

"Oh no. Not before you go with me."

I hoped I was right, because if I wasn't then this idea was a stupid one, but I think that Kay and Lex believe that I'm the only one who wants them.

I grabbed Dan's hand and pulled him out of his bedroom with me, shushing him when he opened his mouth to protest.

We silently made our way to Alex's room, where we could hear their soft young voices through the door.

"Maybe he was just busy with something." Said Kaila.

I decided to watch Dan's reaction.

"Do you think only Phil likes us ?" Wondered the boy.

Dan looked like he had just been punched in the guts.

There was a long silence and Dan pulled on my hand, he wanted to go back to his room. But I would not let him, not yet. He needed to understand that what he had just done was not a okay thing to do.

"Kay ?"

"Lex ?"

I almost smiled. I liked the nicknames they gave each other. Simple and sweet. I wondered if I was allowed to call them that too.

"Does Dan like us ?"

"I don't know."

Dan's eyes were open wide, and he made a move as if he wanted to go inside and tell them it wasn't true, but instead he pulled on my hand again, silently begging me to let him go back to his room.

This time, I let him, but I followed behind him closely. This conversation was far from over.

As soon as he reached his room, Dan went to his bed and laid down, face in his pillow, in the same position I found him earlier.

"Dan. What's wrong ?" I asked sternly.

Dan flinched at my tone. Ok something was very wrong. I sat next to him on his bed and put a hand on his back.

"Dan, please tell me what's wrong." I was worried now, and Dan must have heard it in my voice because this time he turned around and looked me in the eye.

"I'm scared, okay ? I am so, so scared."

"Why are you so afraid ?" I questioned gently.

Dan closed his eyes for a few seconds, and I began to think that he would not answer me.

"I'mafraidthey'renotgoingtolikeme."

Oh. So that was why. But...

"What an idiot you are Daniel Howell." I let out very seriously before chuckling. "Of course they're going to like you, you stupid bear !"

Dan smiled shyly, looking away.

"Yeah."

"You don't sound convinced."

"I'm not good with, with kids."

"I'm sure you are, stop it, it's your anxiety talking."

Dan nodded, blushing a little and avoiding to look me in the eye.

He wasn't believing me.

As I openned my mouth to insist, I realized that he would not believe me, no matter how many times I told him. He had to discover how right Phillip Lester always is by himself.

"Ok, I'm gonna go now, and you are going to go talk to at least one of the kids. I don't care if you just ask them about the cookies we made, or what their favorite color is, you're going to start a conversation."

"And what if I don't ?" Mumbled Dan like a petulant child.

Oh my god, there wasn't two but three kids in this house.

"Well then I'll tell the kids they're allowed in your room whenever they want."

I pinched Dan's cheek and went to my room, smirking to myself as I heard the protests coming from Dan's room.

Maybe four, actually.

* * *

 **Kaila's pov**

I woke up to the sound of my door opening. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the door closing again. What the fuck ? Who was it ? Did Alex need me but didn't want to wake me up ?

That last thought made me wake up and go to the door instantly.

I was completely close so I just pushed it open and looked in the corridor.

Dan was standing in the middle of it, he looked lost, and... Kinda scared ? But soon all those emotions totally disappeared from his face, and his facial expression became unreadable, making me doubt the emotions I saw on it only a second ago.

"Hi..?" I said in a small voice. He didn't look very pleased to see me.

"Hey." He replied.

"I, hm... Did you want something ?" I'm pretty sure he is the one who opened my door.

Oh my god this was so awkward.

"I was just wondering if you liked the cookies." His voice wasn't betraying any of what he was feeling, and it made anxiety rise inside my chest.

"I liked them a lot" I tried to smile but it was forced and I was sure the youtuber could tell.

"Okay, I'm gonna go now, I have stuff to do."

And just like that, Dan was gone, leaving me with a painful fear in my stomach.

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 **Don't forget to let me know if you liked it ! 3 I love you all dear readers, and please, stay strong, stay weird, stay alive |-/**


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